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Name: Scott Eyre Team: Charleston Rainbows (Texas Rangers affiliate) Position: Pitcher Value of card: 15 percent tip on nada Key 1994 stat: 4,809 times it was impossible to live down this card Steady your stomach, it's time for another: Rainbow balls 2 regulation baseballs 3 ounces irony 11 pints of missed puns Dash of childlike innocence Double entendre to taste Take the baseballs and set them on a table. Tell an 18-year-old rookie to sit down and pretend to cut the baseballs with a plastic knife and fork. Call over a professional baseball card company photographer. Never mention you're doing this because it's hilarious that a guy sporting rainbows all over his clothes is eating balls. Ridicule the rookie incessantly when the card 'comes out.' Repeat each year until your career fizzles out. Name: Nolan Ryan Team: Texas Rangers Positions: Ace, Texas Beefmaster Value of card: A cowpie Key 1990 stat: Zero beef mastered Nolan Ryan's online dating profile, circa 1991: Screen name: TexasBeefmaster01 Age: 13 (in horse years) Height: 6'10' (with my boots and hat on) Weight: 170 (without my boots and hat on) Hair color: Brindle Hair style: Covered Ethnicity: Texan Religious views: Don't mess with Texas Marital status: Married to the ranch.
Also, to my wife. Want children?
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I a couple young'uns earlier today Best feature: Calluses Smoke? Only what I can roll Drink? Moonshine Seeking: A right fine heifer Location: In the barn, at the stockyard, on the range it doesn't matter Her body type: Meaty Her ethnicity: Angus Her hairstyle: Matted About me: Hello there, ladies. They call me the Texas Beefmaster (sure they do), but it's not because of the livestock I keep on my ranch. Peugeot Service Box 2009 Keygen Download For Idm there.
You see, I'm partial to a girl with some steak on her bones, the kind of woman who knows her way around both a trough and a haystack. It's true that I'm married, but my relationship is as open as the range that I ride. So if you're interested in knocking hooves, drop me a line and we can get low.
Name: Rheal Cormier Team: St. Louis Cardinals Position: Pitcher Value of card: 0.3 ounces of cardinal crap scratched off your shoulder Key 1991 stat: One bird barely sneaking onto the card Here's what Rheal Cormier: Real name; make that, 'Rheal' name Haircut is Little Boys No. Presto Mr Photo For Windows 7 Free Download here. 5 Even the cardinal looks ashamed to be on this card Awkward grin was actually his best look Lighting in this photo signals amateur photography Circle change is the only pitch he could throw, apparently Often told teammates to 'keep it Rheal' Rigid hat looks like it's made of cardboard Meticulous grooming habits are something. Important to Cardinals other than Cormier ERA was so high, it didn't seem 'Rheal' Right, that joke never gets old. Name: Team: Kansas City Chiefs Position: Quarterback Value of card: One end zone seat approximately half a mile from the field Key 1994 stat: 104 pounds of delicious barbecued meat eaten Ummmm: Why is so happy? A) Because he just threw a wedge of Swiss cheese shaped and painted like the Chiefs logo.
B) Because it's raining. C) Because he's delighted that the shadow of the goalpost is falling in a completely different direction than the shadow of his arm. D) Because that little half-size upright is hilarious. E) Because the artist who drew this card shared some of what he was. Name: Fernando Gonzalez Team: Pittsburgh Pirates Kansas City Royals Position: Third base Value of card: 4 inches of yellow Key 1973 stat: Got to third base, but only on the field Top 10 reasons why Fernando Gonzalez should cheer up: 10) The Royals weren't nearly as bad in '74 as they are now 9) Lots of guys would kill for a like that 8) Delicious Kansas City barbecue 7) Delicious Kansas City humidity 6) He has his health.